A Gearhart Christmas v. 2008

Preface

Christmas two thousand and eight was a fantastic holiday with friends, family, great food, love, and laughter. Like many families and couples, Christmas spans a few sunrises and sunsets for us, as it's the only feasible way to visit my family, Sarah's family, our friends, and still have a small, family Christmas at home. Christmas started on the actual Christmas day, because we weren't ready for it any earlier.

This multi-day celebration was bisected with the scariest moment of my entire life. Today's post is rather lengthy, as I feel it's necessary to tell the whole story, instead of just the part that made my heart stop. So bear with me, and I'll do my best to write the story well enough to keep your attention.

Chapter I - Pre-Christmas

I simultaneously hate and envy the person that says they completed all their shopping and wrapping on December 15th, or even earlier. We finished our shopping on December 23rd, and the wrapping on December 24th. Once that was complete, we put out milk and cookies for the late night burglar wearing the red suit. Upon putting Tyler to bed, we sent word that it was safe for Santa to come (wink, wink) and fill our stockings and leave gifts under the tree. To pass the time waiting for the strike of the midnight hour, Sarah and I fell asleep on the couch. Where oh where did the days of partying until the wee hours of the morning go?

I barely slept that night. Even as an adult, the anticipation of Christmas and gifts is more effective than three pots of coffee at keeping the angels of slumber from overtaking me. When Tyler woke up for nursies at God-knows-what-time, I was ready, Sarah wasn't. Instead, Sarah fed him, put him to bed and returned to ours. When Tyler woke up at 6:37am, I was ready. Unfortunately for me, Sarah wasn't. She brought Tyler to our bed and lay down with him. I sometimes think she enjoys torturing me. Finally, at 8:30a, Sarah - who was facing away from me - says, "well good morning Ty Ty." I jerked myself up and peered over at them, unable to contain my excitement.

Chapter II - Christmas at Home

In a word, Christmas was awesome. In a couple words, Christmas was super awesome.

Last Christmas was special because that's when we told our families that Sarah was 15 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. This Christmas trumped that, a hundred times over, because it was Tyler's first. He loved tearing (and trying to eat) the wrapping paper. I would actually love to give him a wrapped box everyday to open. He made out like a bandit too. His stocking stuffers included food, pacifiers, and a little baby toothbrush. The tree held even greater treasure, in the form of books and toys.

Delilah didn't do too bad either. Santa knows that we're trying to figure out what she's allergic to, so he didn't bring her any food products.

Sarah and I faired pretty well also. Among other things, she got the slow cooker that she so desperately wanted, and I got the new widescreen LCD monitor that I so desperately wanted.

We played with Tyler and his new toys for awhile, until he was ready for his nap. While he slept, we packed up the car with gifts and pies. After getting cleaned and dressed, Tyler was still asleep, so we played Guitar Hero for about 45 minutes. Tyler finally woke up around 1p. Sarah fed him, then we all loaded into the car.

Chapter III - Sarah's Family

Forty-five minutes later, we arrived at Sarah's parents' house. Unsurprisingly, Tyler received lots of toys, books, clothes, and kisses. The food was great. Sarah brought a homemade apple pie, a homemeade blueberry/peach pie, and a homemade pumpkin pie. They were delicious!

At one point, I hear Allison (Aunt Ace) say, "Tyler, are you ok?" I looked down to see Tyler sitting on the floor, holding a pair of his newly acquired pants. He was looking straight ahead, with his mouth open, trying to gag. Before I even got my feet on the ground, Ace was already next to him with her finger in his mouth. After what felt like 2 hours, but was actually less than five seconds, she pulls something out of his mouth. Apparently, Tyler had been chewing on the cardboard tag that retailers attach to clothing. After being drenched in Tyler's spittle, it tore off and got stuck on the roof of Tyler's mouth, toward the back. Tyler was then put under constant surveillance.

We got home that night, put Tyler to bed, then played with our gifts. Sarah read a book using her new booklight, and I tranferred pictures to the computer using my new card reader.

Chapter IV - The Long Drive

We left our house at 11am on the 26th to make the 2 hour drive to my parents' house. We got there 4 hours later. Just as I turned onto the entrance ramp to the expressway, we saw that traffic wasn't moving in either direction. People were standing outside their cars, and police were everywhere. Have I mentioned, yet, that we had an ice storm the night before? I did a U-turn on the ramp (yes, I drove the wrong way on a one-way) and we decided to take a state road North, until it intersected with the expressway again.

Fifteen minutes later, we were cruising at a respectable 40 miles an hour. We seemed to have gotten past all the ice, and were on wet roads. The temperature was expected to hit 40ºF, so that should take care of all the ice we just got past.

Suddenly, although I was driving straight, the car was pointing toward oncoming traffic, and was drifting into that lane. I looked ahead to see three cars heading our way. I pressed the brakes and slowly turned the wheel to the right. Nothing changed. We were heading directly towards the oncoming cars. I considered for a moment that this was going to be deadly for some (if not all) of us. The car was dangerously close to going into a spin. I could feel the rear end trying to slide around. Very far away, I heard Sarah's voice. It wasn't a scream, but more of a statement.

"Oh God."

Immediately, a picture of Sarah, and a picture of Tyler flashed in my head. It seemed that a part of my brain flipped a switch and put me on some type of auto-pilot. I knew what I was doing while I was doing it, and I knew why I was doing it. But I didn't know how I was doing it, because I really didn't feel like I was controlling my own body.

As calmy as if I was taking a leisurely walk through a park, I said "It's cool, it's cool. I've got this. We'll be ok."

I slowly turned the wheel to the right again. I eased onto the gas pedal, praying that the spinning front wheels would pull us back into our lane. Miracle, hand of God, or sheer dumb luck, I don't know, but it worked. I saw a telephone pole with about 20 feet of ice and snow between it and us. I knew that the snow would slow us down, and I decided that I would gladly take damage to the car just as long as my family was safe.

I tried steering to the left, to straighten us out, but there was no traction whatsoever. We left the road. The front passenger corner of the car hit the snow, with an inch of solid ice on top of it. It spun the front end around to face the right direction. We slid along the snow/ice wall and came to a stop. We were sitting as if we pulled off the road to look at a map. The scariest moment of my entire life ended without so much as a scratch on us or the car.

I got out and started stomping the ice so I could have some traction to push the car. I could only get us about 10 feet or so. Luckily, another motorist came to help push. When Sarah got back on the road, she couldn't stop because we were still on solid ice. That, and another car was coming from behind, so stopping would have been too dangerous. I thanked the guy that helped push and started running towards the car. I yelled for Sarah to keep going just as I grabbed the rear spoiler. At that point, I pulled myself along the car. I quit running and my feet were literally gliding on the ice. I actually did think to myself, "Ok, this is pretty cool." as I dropped into the passenger seat. Tyler, my dear son, slept through the entire ordeal, and Delilah was just as happy as before. About a mile later, we had to stop for about 20 minutes because a salt truck was stuck in the road. The driver was shoveling ice under his wheels to get some traction.

Shortly thereafter, the ice really did melt and we were able to continue our trip.

Chapter V - My Family

My parents freaked when I told them the story of our death-defying trip up to see them. I got to see my older brother, 2 of his sons, my younger brother, his girlfriend, my parents, and my grandparents. My sister is living in Kansas, and my other brother isn't around very much, so they weren't there for Christmas.

Tyler, once again, received lots of lovings. He was a bit of a Grumpy-Gus though, because his schedule was all out of whack from the previous couple days. But for the most part, he was well mannered and great to be around. 99% of the time that he sleeps, he sleeps in his crib. We obviously couldn't pack his crib, so we brought the Pack-N-Play for him to sleep in. He did not sleep very well at all. Tyler was up every 45 minutes or so. It was miserable for Sarah, poor girl. She was dog tired the next day.

My parents have one of those "Dancing Santa" toys. When you turn it on, he starts singing Jingle Bell Rock and moves his hips, side to side. Tyler was hypnotized by it. He just sat on the floor and stared at it, completely absorbed. It was hilarious.

The other highlight is that Tyler got up on his hands and knees and skooched forward on them. He's been up on his hands and knees before, but this day is the day that he got up and stayed up on them. Once again, Sarah and I were excited and scared. I keep saying I need to baby-proof the house, but haven't done so yet. I really need to now.

Closing

This has to have been one of my best Christmases ever (if not the best). Tyler puts such a big smile on my face everyday, and warms my heart. We all got home safe, with no near-misses this time. Our house is still a disaster zone, but that's par for the course.

If you've actually read this far, I really appreciate it. I try to keep my posts to a reasonable length, but sometimes I just can't help but to share more than normal.

Wordless Wednesday v. Double Shot

Breaking Ground

Tyler doesn't cry very much.

When a person is reading something, in print or on screen, it's difficult to always know what emotion is the author is trying to convey. If you knew Tyler to be a major screamer and crier, and you read that first line, you'd say to yourself, "wow... that Joe is so witty. He's being sarcastic, and I find that to be quite funny." So, let me be clear. Tyler doesn't cry very much. Scouts' honor. Honest Abe. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.

He's only 5 months old, so his favored form of communication is crying. Luckily for us, he rarely - if ever - cries for no reason. He used to go bonkers when he was hungry, screaming like it was the end of all mankind, and his only chance for survival was some breastmilk within the next nanosecond or two. I wouldn't pass him off to Sarah until he calmed down though. I think it drove Sarah crazy, because it made her sad to hear Tyler cry. As soon as Tyler calmed down, I'd give him right to Sarah for some nursies. I hesitate to call it "tough love", mostly because I absolutely adore the little monster, but I want him to understand that screams will not get rewarded. I'm not sure if Tyler's non-crying demeanor is just a trait of his, or if it's a result of how Sarah and I responded to his screaming. He does get fussy when he's hungry, or tired, or needs changing, or wants attention, or if Delilah has licked his face a little too much. And I have no problem with this. He's been starting his hand/arm gestures recently too. He reaches out for us, he pulls my head close to his when I'm holding him, he hugs Sarah's head when she's snuggling him, he pets Delilah (and sometimes grabs and squeezes her fur and face), and he pushes her away when she's being a pest. It's a fantastic transition, and a sad one. But hand and arm gestures aren't my concern today; screaming is.

Tyler's first tooth has just pushed through his gums. His front, bottom, slightly-to-the-left tooth is making its grand entrance to the world. If you look closely at the picture (click to view it larger), you'll see it in there. To say that I'm elated would be an overstatement, and to say that I'm saddened would be a huge understatement. I think it's great that my little baby is growing, but I also think it's the saddest thing in the world that my little baby is growing. It's only been 5 months, and it's only felt like 3 or 4 days. Sarah noticed it a few days ago. His gums were a little swollen, and he's been grumpy with breastfeeding. Last Tuesday, he grabbed my finger and shoved it in his mouth. When he bit down, I felt it!! His first tooth broke through. *sigh*

As a result, Tyler is screaming. I don't remember what it felt like when I was teething 29.8 years ago, but I'm sure it didn't feel good. He's not screaming because he's unhappy. He's screaming because he's - presumably - in legitimate pain. And THAT is breaking my heart. Thank the heavens above for baby Oragel, or whatever off brand it was that we bought. "Little Teethers" or something like that. I've heard of people rubbing whiskey on a baby's gums to soothe the pain, and I'd be lying if I told you that it never crossed my mind. I've got a couple different flavors to choose from, and contemplated doing a double blind taste test with Tyler, to see if he preferred a Tennessee blend over a Canadian mix. Sarah would send me to the morgue in a body bag if I got Tyler liquored up, so we've got the Benzocain to numb his aching gums instead.

I'm sad that Tyler's teething, I'm horrified that this is only the first of 20 baby teeth. But the worst is hearing his screams. It makes my heart hurt. It's time to make sure we've got teething rings in the fridge, wet wash cloths in the freezer, and be prepared to do a lot of gum massaging.

And just as things start to get better, Tyler starts screaming again. I looked into his mouth today, and see that his first tooth's neighbor is breaking ground as well. What was once nothing but a desolate, gummy pasture is quickly turning into a booming subdivision, and all the lots are being purchased at a record rate. One tooth has moved in, and the second has secured its lot. Before I have time to blink, all 20 lots will be purchased and in the building phase. Due to a mortgage crisis in a few more years, those teeth will be evicted, making room for a more permanent residency.

The Pen is Mightier... plus more

We sent Tim (my dear step-dad) a birthday card just over a week ago. Tyler wanted to help decorate the envelope....

I've taken some pictures that don't really have enough of a story to warrant a post by themselves, so I hope you don't mind a few quick blurbs.

Tyler ate bananas (baby food) for the first time... I had been playing with camera settings (aperature, ISO, etc) so the pictures aren't that great :(

We went upstairs to get Tyler out of his crib after his afternoon nap. Here's how we found him:

Tyler likes bananas now (for the most part)...

Tyler's got massive thighs...

Thanks for viewing!!!!

Wordless Wednesday v. Sweet Potatoes

In case you didn't already see it over here.

Everyday Conversation

This past Friday, I was very tired, and was dealing with some severe neck pain. I don't know how or why my neck started hurting, but it was doing so without regard for origin or reason. I lay down on the couch to take a nap, while Sarah and Tyler played on the floor. This was a mistake, because the way in which I was positioned caused even more neck pain when I woke up about an hour or so later.

When I did wake up, the following discussion took place:

Sarah: "How was your nap?"
Me: "mmmm, ok I guess."
Sarah: "love yous."
Me: "I love you, too."
Sarah: "Tyler pooped."
Me: "Yay."
Tyler: *burp*

Apparently, when a baby's bowel system takes a two day break from its normally scheduled programming, it becomes a hot topic for parents. I did not know this, and believe I must add it to the "The Incompetent Dad's Handbook for Parenting Success" book that I'll probably never write.

Update: After reading over this post again, I feel the need to point out that Tyler's *burp* was not added for comedic effect. The conversation posted is 100% accurate.

Christmas in November

My parents came down to visit the weekend before Thanksgiving. Since they already made plans for Turkey day, and we were hosting a dinner as well, we decided on the weekend before to meet up. They hadn't yet met Tyler, so we were all very excited. Sarah made a pseudo-Thanksgiving meal, which included turkey-meatloaf, smashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie. It was delicious. To be honest, I was nervous about turkey-meatloaf, but it was very, very good.

My parents bought Tyler some clothes, toys (which he appears to love), and a bouncer when they came down. The only wrapping paper they had was Christmas themed. But Tyler is five months old, so he wouldn't notice. Plus, he wouldn't care if he did. We didn't care, because it's just paper that's going to get destroyed anyway, right?

Tyler was more than eager to get his hands on the presents. We had to help him by tearing the corner of the paper. But as soon as he saw the paper sticking out, he couldn't wait to get his hands on it. Tyler thoroughly enjoyed the ripping sound of the paper. He also seemed to enjoy the way the paper tasted, because he kept cramming it in his mouth.

The pièce de résistance of the weekend was on that Sunday. It's actually probably the opposite of "pièce de résistance", but here's the story anyway. We went to breakfast at Ryan's, which is a buffet style restaurant. It was my first time there, and the food was very good. We let my parents feed Tyler a little bit of ice cream, which we immediately followed with Mylacon drops. And that was when I watched as a woman sneezed into her hand. Common sense, and common-freaking-courtesy would tell you to use your other hand, you know... the CLEAN one, to grab your food. Or maybe go clean your *bleep*ing hands! Not this woman. She switched hands for a second, which was a great relief to me, but promptly switched back to her germ-infested hand to grab food. I think I came down with the flu, or leprosy, or some other terminal illness just from watching her do that.

So, that was Tyler's Christmas in November. New clothes, new toys, new grandparents, and ice cream. I'm looking forward to Tyler having his first Christmas, but he doesn't really know what's going on. Because of this, I told Sarah that we should just get him some empty boxes. He won't know that we're cheaping out on him, and all little boys love empty boxes. It's a win/win situation. And here's the photographic proof to back my claims.

Sarah whole-heartedly disagrees with me. So we went Christmas shopping for Tyler this week, taking him with us. Not that we have much choice in the matter, though. But it felt weird that we were buying gifts for someone who was with us. To top it off, we were letting him play with the toys at the store, so that we could be sure that he would like them. I want it noted, though, that I think plain ole cardboard boxes will be just as much fun as a spinning toy that lights up and makes funny noises.